So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i've created a new STD.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
