I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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