Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I need to stop coming to work sober
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
