Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
