i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize