i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
