My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Randomize
