I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
