really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
