Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
