I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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