he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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