Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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