on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
