Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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