I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
