I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
