Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
