I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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