id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
