I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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