Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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