So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
