How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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