1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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