boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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