We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
