Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
