Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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