he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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