How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
