I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
