Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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