Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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