the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
