do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
