If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
