In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
