dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
