You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
