ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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