Im at strip club and am horny
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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