Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
