When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
