I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize