I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
