If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
