Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
