"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
