Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
