Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My liver just had a heart attack.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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