Don't you send me to vm
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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