i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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