Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
