the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
