Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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