I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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