They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
