FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
