apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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