their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
